Does anyone really enjoy ‘networking’? I can’t think of anyone who does. But it’s something we all need to do if you’re tasked with generating new business. It’s especially important for small businesses and entrepreneurs who need a constant stream of income. For those of us who hate it, what should you do?

There’s no shortage of networking opportunities, both online and in real life. That’s not the problem. The issue is, how do you make the most of them? Some suggestions are below.

1 Be Interesting

People need to enjoy your company and want to spend time with you. Obvious pitfalls to avoid:

a) Going on and on about your brilliant career. No one likes a show-off.

b) Talking too much. Which means you’re not listening.

c) Focusing on irrelevant subjects. Your amazing kids. Your terrible football team. Things people aren’t interested in.

Instead,

a) Find common ground. Subjects that interest both of you.

b) Offer thoughtful, considered points of view

c) Listen and respond to what you hear.

d) Be light-hearted. Make people laugh, or at least smile

e) Be polite and kind. Don’t be too judgemental.

These are just basic social skills, but it’s amazing how often I’ve had to put up with people who fail these basic tests. Being interesting is remarkably easy. You’ll stand out.

2 Don’t Sell

Everyone hates being sold to. Don’t fall into that trap when you’re in networking mode. By all means, explain what you do and what makes you special, but don’t try and ‘close’ on them. Don’t be pushy. If people appear genuinely interested in what you have to offer, follow up after. if you’re interesting - see above - people will make the effort to get back in touch with you.

3 Be Helpful

Act in a way that’s in the interest of others. This could come in lots of ways.

a) Connecting people who share common ground. People love meeting other people in a similar field or who may be helpful to them. Make some introductions.

b) Sharing useful content. Publish or pass on advice or learning that may be helpful. Do this willingly. Be generous. Do this for free. If you get invited to speak at an event, do your best to say yes.

What goes around, comes around. If you’re helpful to others, they’ll help you too.

4 ONLY Follow UP WITH people you Like

You have to be selective. But if you come across people you find really interesting, connect with them. People are shy or busy. Be the one who gets in touch first. If they choose not to reciprocate- that’s fine. It’s probably a good thing. If they do, then great. It could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

5 Re-ignite Old Contacts

Networking is not always about meeting new people. Often, it’s about re-kindling dormant relationships. People love to be contacted out of the blue. Be the one who initiates this as most people neglect old friendships. Or are just a bit lazy. Make sure you only re-connect with the people who you really miss. The ones you’ve always liked.

6 Little and Often

Your network needs nurturing. Don’t go through a flurry of networking and then forget about it. Or neglect people when you’re busy or when feel you they’re no longer useful. Stay in touch. Let people know you’re thinking of them and you care about them. Keep it alive, keep it moving forward. Look to grow it, but equally, be OK about letting some contacts fade away as you grow and evolve.

In Summary

Some wise person once said, your network is your net worth. It’s important. It’s how you get more work. It’s who you turn to when you need help. To become better at it, focus on being human. A nice, empathetic, thoughtful person. Be generous with your time and be helpful. Be proactive. Initiate or re-ignite relationships. Be clear on how you can be helpful, but don’t sell. Work on your network, and keep it alive. It shouldn’t be painful, even though the word ‘networking’ fills most of us with dread.