When you embark on a new coaching relationship, you both must get off to a great start. The key to this is great planning and preparation.
Before the first meeting, as a coach, I, therefore, ask my coachees to do the following.
1 Start thinking about their goals
Goal setting is often the focal point of your first coaching session. It’s where the coachee defines what they’re looking for from a coaching relationship. It’s where you plan and look forward. Rather than wait until the session itself, I ask the coachee to start thinking about their goals in advance. I ask them to think about their goals across three horizons.
- Long-term: their bigger life/career goals
- Medium-term: their goals over the next 12 months
- Short-term: their goals over the next 30 days
By encouraging the coachee to reflect and capture these in advance, you’ll be better placed to have a more in-depth and focused conversation. For more reflections on setting and achieving goals, click here.
2 Send over their life story
If I don’t know the coachee very well, I would ask him/her to send me more information about themself. I call it their ‘life story’. This might sound quite daunting, but it doesn’t need to be. Encourage the coachee to share as much or as little as they’d like. Their achievements, their highs, their lows, their values. Whatever they feel would be useful to you as a coach or what’s important to them.
Coachees often find this an illuminating experience. They’re forced to reflect and think back on who they are and on the pivotal moments in their life.
It means you get to know them quicker. You’re better placed to interpret what you see and hear when you’re in conversation. It means the time you have together will be richer and more meaningful. Of course, you can discuss what they’ve sent you during your coaching sessions, but it saves you the time of simply listening to their backstory.
3 Keep a journal
Every coaching session will involve reflections on what has happened since the last session. One way to make this easier is to ask the coachee to keep a daily journal. In their journal, I ask them to capture significant events, achievements, ideas, or insights that have happened in between sessions.
Keeping a daily journal serves several purposes.
- It serves as a record to look back on. Rather than rely on their powers of recall, the coachee will have information to refer to.
- It helps build self-awareness. They start to see patterns. Bigger thoughts and revelations start to emerge.
I recently discovered the 5-minute journal which I really like. I use it every day. I love the fact that it’s so short and that you fill it in twice a day.
4 Capture feedback
Feedback is essential for building self-awareness and providing a focus for development. If a coachee already has feedback from their regular appraisals I ask them to share it with me. If not I suggest the following:
- I ask for feedback from a series of people who know the coachee well. What they see as the coachee’s strengths, what they value most in them. Surprises often emerge. Often the coachee undervalues what they take for granted.
- I ask the coachee to conduct a self-diagnostic personality test. One I really like and recommend is 16 personalities. It’s quick, easy, and free. Once completed, ask the coachee to reflect on what they’ve discovered. It provides an added layer of richness to the beliefs the coachee holds about him/herself.
Once you’ve gathered this feedback, it acts as the basis for further coaching conversations.
Summary
Kicking off a great coaching relationship requires openness, trust, and understanding. It’s an exciting and enjoyable journey you’re about to embark on. But like any relationship, it takes time to deepen and develop.
For a coach, try to short-circuit the learning curve by asking for useful information from the coachee: their goals, their life story. Gather feedback from people who know them well.
For the coachee, encourage them to build their self-awareness. Journalling really helps as does undertaking a personality test. Asking them to reflect on any feedback they’ve been given is also incredibly helpful. Here are further thoughts on giving and receiving feedback.
As a result, before the first session, both parties will be fully engaged and fully prepared for what will become a really fruitful experience.