Following on from my previous post about building trust in a team, I wanted to talk about team conflict. I’m someone who naturally shies away from conflict and doesn’t enjoy getting involved in arguments. I’ve also felt that the best teams are harmonious. Where everyone agrees with each other.
The reality could not be further from the truth.
Going back to my ‘bible’, Lencioni’s “Five Dysfunctions of a Team”, he suggests that a fear of conflict is a sure sign of a team that’s in trouble. Ideas don’t get discussed or debated. Conversations become veiled. Whilst on the surface everything may seem fine, underneath there’s a simmering resentment.
So how do you create a team environment, where open conflict becomes positive and constructive? Here’s a few suggestions.
1 Encourage Debate
Whenever you make a suggestion or put forward an idea, ask for feedback. Make this a habit. Encourage others to do the same and offer feedback to others. Debating ideas, and offering alternative suggestions should then simply become a way of working. For more suggestions on giving and receiving feedback, click here.
2 Don’t Ignore the Conflict
If there’s a topic that you can sense is causing anxiety or disagreement within the team, don’t just avoid it. Make sure you raise it and address it. Otherwise, it will slowly cause greater anxiety and continue to undermine the working of the team. Encourage others to do the same.
3 Learn to Listen
Take the time to listen to what others have to say. Give them the time and space to present their arguments. It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, but don’t dismiss a different point of view, without giving it airtime. Listening is an underrated skill. Listen intently, listen openly. Make sure you acknowledge that people have been heard.
4 Focus on the Issue Not the Person
Orientate the conflict around the topic at hand. By all means, criticise the idea that’s being put forward. But don’t criticise the integrity, beliefs or motives of the person who suggested it. In other words, play the ball, not the player. If the debate degenerates into personal attacks, it will end badly.
5 Keep the Conflict Fact-Based
Use data and information to help get to the heart of a conflict. Don’t just rely on instinct or gut feel. Look for evidence that supports different points of view. Try to avoid the risk of bias creeping in. Keep the debate as objective as possible.
6 Focus on the Greater Good
Whenever you’re trying to resolve a conflict, always ask yourself - will it benefit the team or the broader organisation? Sometimes you may have to concede your position or back someone else’s point of view if the evidence suggests the decision will benefit the interests of the team.
7 Be Prepared to Concede
Some people find it hard to concede they’re wrong. They're competitive. They simple hate losing an argument and will stick to their guns irrespective. Don't fall into that trap. Be humble enough to accept that another person’s point of view may be more valid than your own.
8 Don’t Bear Grudges
After you've engaged in an argument, move on. Don’t resent or punish a person for disagreeing with you. Forget about it. Accept that debate is positive and part and parcel of making progress.
In Summary
Having a team that engages in energetic, open debate is a sign of a team that believes in each other and trusts each other. It shows that the team is striving to improve. Encourage it and celebrate it. It will lead to higher performance and a stimulating work environment. Don’t create or tolerate artificial harmony. Embrace conflict. It’s the sign of a high-performing team.